Focus

I recently returned from a two week vacation overseas. My travelling companions made up a dynamic that I had not been together with in many years. Without thinking about it, I slipped back into an outmoded way of being. As I’ve grown, and learned new ways of living in the world, I’ve moved past some of the less effective ways of my youth. However, sometimes I find myself in a situation where I feel or act in a way I haven’t for a long time. Is that something you can relate to at all, dear reader? When removed from a situation that is uncomfortable, we often find adaptive ways of preventing similar situations in the future. Other times, we turn a blind eye to how things were, and may end up coming across the same obstacles we haven’t yet surmounted.

Upon returning home, I was exhausted. I was jet-lagged, I hadn’t been sleeping well, and I was getting over a sinus infection that had kicked my butt. Standing in my living room, I reflected on the trip. I recognized that having an awareness of my style of life would aid me in accepting, and ultimately forgiving the person that I was. By feeling compassion for ourselves, we are able to recognize that we are doing the best that we can with the resources we believe are available to us. By recognizing and gaining awareness of our actions, it frees us up to choose differently in the future.

I spent time in quiet reflection, and in expressing myself to my partner. Having someone to listen, acknowledge, and reflect my thoughts was incredibly validating. I found the forgiveness for self that I was looking for. Once released, I found a quiet spot and wondered: now what? I understand where I’ve been, now where am I going? What do I want? Why am I here?

It’s easy to let life live me, it takes conscious effort to live an intentional life. I would like to identify what it is that I want out of life, and why it is that I’m here. Once I’ve figured that out, I’d like to feel what it would feel like to accomplish those goals. Following the feeling of accomplishment, I would like to release any sense of need or attachment to those successes. This will aid me in creating a motivated, creative environment with which to move towards my goals. In that environment, a nonattached style of living will aid me in feeling content with whether or not those goals come to be. Either way, I am moving in the direction of what I want in life, focused on the journey and not the destination.

“Where the world like a loose garment. Don’t ignore it, and don’t let it dominate you.”

“The dark night of the soul is the evolution of one’s spirit.”

“Be towards the world the way you would want it to be towards you.”

Here’s what I came up with:

Wishing you the ability to choose your greatest good!

JP